Conversations on the street
As I close out the Durban Review Conference blog, I also wanted to share two side conversations I had. One with a Middle Eastern fellow in the café we frequented and another with a fellow from Tennessee I met on the street.
So my friend and roommate (for the last couple of days) Kaleema and I went into a café as I was swooning from not having eaten all day. So as we made our purchases the shop proprietor asked us about the conference. We shared a bit, but mostly I just concentrated on staying upright. Then he says, “Me, I don’t really think racism is that bad here or in America.” Now this was one of those times where, though it was a potential teaching moment, all I could think was where I was going to get my next meal and how soon I could get there. The café was only my juice place.
Then he goes on to say that he doesn’t really experience racism here in Switzerland and everything is “pretty okay”. My internal narrative was “You keep believing that, brother. More power to you. Ignorance is bliss. Plus, for some, perspective becomes reality and it doesn’t really matter what else is going on if you can find peace in your own perception.” Then he went on to say that in the States it must be okay too because “You have Obama and then you have all those stars like Halle Berry and Will Smith, etc.” At this point I could tell that Kaleema was fairly bursting to share a few “home truths” as we say in the vernacular, but she restrained herself as well. He went on to say, “The real racism is in the Middle East. That’s where racism is really happening.” We just looked on neutrally and vaguely murmured at this last bit saying something benign like, “Yes, the situation there is certainly tough.” Of course we have recognition of and solidarity with our comrades in the Middle East and we also recognize the futility of comparing oppression. So yes, we both missed the moment of potential deeper sharing and the possibility of deepened mutual understanding to be sure, and for rather base reasons of wanting to get out and find food, but I really wonder what we could have said to turn his mind or at least provoke him to open his eyes a bit more.
Similarly I was going into the place we ended up staying for a couple of days and this person with undoubtedly the strongest southern accent I’ve ever heard strikes up a conversation with me, introducing himself as being from Tennessee. When I told him I was at the racism conference he said,” So how’s that going?” I said, “The conference?” even though I assumed that’s what he meant and was ready to give him a brief review. But then he said, “No, racism. Is that pretty big all over?” I looked at him, cocked my head to the side, and narrowed my eyes (only realizing in retrospect that I did all of that) and then finally said on an exhale, “Well, where do I begin? Race and ethnicity based discrimination is a pandemic of fairly epic proportions so….well, it’s hard to know how to start what’s a pretty big conversation.” So then he gave a few of the examples like South Africa and then said something about Sudan and asked me what was going on over there. Then he looks rather intently at me and says, “It seems like when it comes to places like that where they need basics like food and water they should just be able to overcome their differences and get along, don’t you think?” To which I responded that “I don’t know all the intricacies, but I think the situation in the Sudan is a bit more complicated” but that I saw where he was going and then I lamely said, “Well yeah, it would be nice if we could all overcome and embrace our differences and focus on the basics, particularly in times of crisis.”
I come away from these conferences/meetings having accomplished a bit on the macro level and I even do public speaking at smaller venues on racism deftly handling questions from the audience. But then I really need to work on having the conversations in the elevators, at the cafés, and on the street with a bit more ….skill and effectiveness I guess.
Thanks for listening this week. I will let you know when the videos are posted!!
Loading ...